


Damon Salvatore doesn't *deserve* Elena Gilbert, and why that doesn't matter at all

by badboy_fangirl



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 11:52:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10741170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badboy_fangirl/pseuds/badboy_fangirl
Summary: A Damon Salvatore[/Elena Gilbert] meta written 9/13/2012These were my assertions as to where this relationship was going at the beginning of s3.





	Damon Salvatore doesn't *deserve* Elena Gilbert, and why that doesn't matter at all

So, I've had some thoughts lately, and they kind of imploded in my brain today, so I thought I better get them out while the gettin' was good.

First, I am a hardcore Damon/Elena shipper (if you somehow don't know that about me). They are my OTP of OTP of OTPs. Like, I ship them A LOT. The most. Possibly more than you have ever shipped anyone, ever. It's immeasurable, is my point.

However, my shipping of them does not make me blind to their faults, of which Damon has many more than Elena, at least up until this point in the narrative. As S3 of TVD ended, Elena was obviously about to embark upon her worst nightmare, so there is always the chance she'll catch up to Damon, but I'm guessing not. Because at her base, Elena is good. She has always been good, and even with her manipulative Petrova streak and her Queenship on the River of Denial, she is still ultimately a heroine to me in the true sense of the word. I know a lot of people in the TVD fandom hate Elena. I am not one of them, though I've definitely had a few fights with her over various items. But I do view Elena as a heroic character, and I think it's important to note that.

Damon is not heroic in the traditional sense. I suppose some could call him an antihero (defined as _a protagonist who lacks the attributes that make a heroic figure, as nobility of mind and spirit, a life or attitude marked by action or purpose, and the like_ ). I would argue Damon has purpose, but he isn't driven by principle for the most part. Or if he is driven by principle, the principle boils down to _You pissed me off_ and he operates from vengeance a lot. But through that observation, we can assess that Damon has been victimized at times in his existence, and so he fights back; he doesn't take it lying down, he is a man of action. Whether you agree with his actions or not is where the real argument comes in.

[For example, I won't touch the Damon is a Rapist bit with a ten-foot pole. I get the arguments on either side, but I believe contention is of the devil, and it's a topic only set to cause contention. On that note, don't bring it up here, I won't engage with you.]

But here is where my other observations come into play: when you compare and contrast Damon and Stefan and their interactions with Elena, after the initial five episodes of the series, Elena is on a somewhat level playing field with them. The ruse is up, she knows they are vampires. Both of them have been hiding their *true* selves for various reasons, self-preservation among them, but once the jig is up, it's up. Except with Stefan, there are continued lies, small reveals all along the way, up to and including his very SCARY past as a ripper. Now, Elena loves Stefan, she does. I don't argue ever that she doesn't; but she never knows the whole story with Stefan, and so as she falls in love with him, and then continues to stick it out with him, it is always with a varying degree of knowledge.

The same cannot be said of Damon. Damon is pretty much IN HER FACE with who and what he is. He never tries to pretend otherwise, and even when he kills her brother in a fit of rage, he ends up after a short period of time, telling her the absolute truth about what happened there. 

Now, here's the debatable part: some people are not convinced that Elena loves Damon. She has fought a long battle not to love him, I'll give her that. But by and large, I am convinced that she does, and since this post isn't about whether she loves him, but instead about the veracity of that love, I'm not going to debate it either. I'm just going to say that Elena loves Damon, differently than she loves Stefan.

And when I say *differently* I don't mean non-romantically. I mean, she loves Damon even though she shouldn't. Even though he killed her brother, and various others, even though he is a purposeful asshat on many occasions, even though he is not trying to earn her love or deserve it. You know why? Because he can't earn it. Love is freely given and it's freely taken away. It's either there, or it's not. You either feel it or you don't. Elena didn't do anything to *deserve* Damon or Stefan's love (or obsession, stalking, and assorted inappropriate behavior). 

I'm not saying over the course of their friendship that neither of them have done things that they owe the other one an apology for. Damon has apologized to Elena on several occasions, and I can't think of a single solitary time it wasn't deserved. I can think of times I wanted Elena to apologize to Damon, but he doesn't always make it easy. But the point is, they still love each other. I mean, I don't really know how anyone watched that gut-wrenching phone call between them in 3x22 and didn't know just how much she loves him, even though she didn't choose to go to him. The ultimate foundation of their relationship is that they are honest with each other, they are just who they are in front of each other, and Elena wasn't going to give Damon platitudes just because he might have been dying. _Especially_ if he might be dying. I don't think she was lying when she told him she forgave him, or that she likes him just the way he is in 2x22, either. I think the sad truth of it is that Elena likes Damon far more than she wants to, because she has an ideal in her head of the way she should be, and Damon doesn't fit that ideal. But he's still there, in the mix, confusing her and filling her with longing, consuming her even when she knows the right choice is *Stefan* ~~anyone but Damon~~. 

This, to me, is why, in the end, I don't think Elena will be with Stefan, because they aren't founded on these types of truths. Elena loves what Stefan has showed to her, what she believes he can become again if he tries hard enough. Elena chose him because that's what love is supposed to be: being with the person who makes you glad to be alive. And Stefan loves a human girl who looked identical to, but acted nothing like, Katherine Pierce. Once Elena's a vampire, all bets are off the table for Stefan's love, IMHO. 

But Damon's love and Elena's unearned, undeserved regard for him?

They're going to ride off into the unearned, undeserved sunset. I bet my fangirl heart on it. [Please to be holding me if it doesn't happen, kthxbye.]

[ ](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v222/americanoutlaw/TVD/?action=view&current=eyecontact.gif)


End file.
